I've moved!

https://alstonchong.wordpress.com/

1,2,3 4 5

What am i to do:

I could

1. Go out and actively get it.
2. Wait for it.
3. Convince myself i will never need it.

Which choice should i take?

New Blog Look!

Alright, I have FINALLY changed my blog template ever since i created it 4 years ago. And, i started blogging again after like.. 8 months lol. Damn terrible, i know. Anyway, army is OVER. Finally. At this moment, there's only Mr Encik Toh who haven't ORD. Jia You! 1 more month! Anyway, school started, and i have this awesome 2 day week timetable. :))) I'm damn proud of it and I must announce to the whole world. You'll never know what a 5 day weekend feels like week after week. Haha.

Anyway, speaking of school, group projects have been amounting. Currently, i have 5 group projects due and I've only started on ONE. GG. I think my next few weeks will be filled with school 'outings'. Honestly speaking, I'm not digging this whole uni idea. I mean, its really hard to find non-superficial friends in school. Maybe it's just me. Plus I realize I'm learning alot on my own. I mean we pay such exorbitant school fees and the prof expects you to do your own research on the topic and present in class (TWC). Like quite pointless right, I mean I paid you to teach me. If u want me to learn independently, I can do that on my own right. The best part is when we are required to do such 'self research', the Prof doesn't even help by giving places where we might find good information and just expects us to google everything. I can google quite well tyvm. Ok enough complaining about school.

Excited about lion king at the end of this month! Alright! My second broadway musical. Everyone should watch a broadway musical, it's just a whole new experience. Alright, I have no idea when I'll blog again so I shall stop here.

To stop thinking and to start doing

Recently, my friend made a very sensible statement to me. He said, "sometimes we shouldn't think too much because we'll end up stagnant." Apparently his counselor told this to him. I can say i've always belonged to the type of people who thinks more than does. I think about alot of things and i always end up firstly, forgetting what i thought about.. Secondly, even if i remember and do carry it out, I only do it for awhile and i forget after that. I guess the wisdom lies in that, no matter how much we think or how much we think we know what's going to happen, the truth is, things don't always go as planned.

We may think following a particular lifestyle is going to get you those results, but, in the end, circumstances shape your decisions and you may not have the same opportunities or same circumstances as someone else. Why we become stagnant is because, sometimes there are so many ways to do something, and at times these ways contradict each other.

For example, some people say you should try everything so that you'll actually know what you don't like and what you really like. While other people say, you shouldn't be a jack of all trades and master of none. Find something that makes you money and then concentrate on that, while later in life when you have enough money, you can do what you want. These two lifestyles obviously contradict and which should we follow? We will never know.

So the advice would be to not think about it and just do it. Along the way, self-reflection is good as you are constantly asking yourself is this the way i want it to be done. Is this what i truly want. I cannot count the countless hours of thinking and coming to no valuable conclusion or gained any valuable wisdom. Perhaps the only wisdom that can be gained is through self-reflection of past actions and self-correction.

When you get locked out of your bunk

Sorry i'm just a little bored. Perhaps i shall try to list down what i truly believe in.

Firstly, i feel the truth about life is, the more you find out about it, the more you feel it's meaningless and that there is SO MUCH pain in life that even if there is some feeble sense of meaning in your life, it will be easily shadowed by the pain you have to go through.

Sorry for sounding suicidal but i feel this is true. Just think about your stages of life and you'll see eye to eye. First, childhood. You live each day thinking what you could do when you are older and how much more fun you could have.
Secondly, school-attending age. This spreads all the way from when you're 6 till you're 24?. Things that suck about school: you slog so hard just to get that paper certificate. Just think about the numerous hours spent at home, in school , in libraries just mugging away. And now, when you look back, did you think that PSLE cert/O level/A level cert was really worth those hours in your short life? Even at the tender age of 12, based on your PSLE score, you start to get discriminated (NA, NT, Express, Special) and realize if you want to have a financially stable future, you better concentrate on your grades.

Now, what happens after school? Work of course. Full 365 days of it, Les 14 days of leave. Think about this. From age 24-60 (sg wants to raise the retirement age to 68 wth) , that's 36 years of your life and almost 50% of your life spent on working. When you're 60, of course you won't be able to enjoy life as much anymore and you start having old age problems (rheumatism, poor appetite, diabetes risk ; you cant even enjoy a nice bowl of white rice wth) .

These carry you through till you die. Of course the degree of old age problems depends on what you did during your productive work life. If you didn't plan for your retirement, you could very well be living off others and being a burden, increasing the pain of continuing to live.

I used to think, all these would be alright so long as you had love in your heart and love around you. Now, i realize how much work a relationship really is. When you're in a relationship, it's imperative you have to make sacrifices.
Based on my own experience, somehow these sacrifices take away the simple joys of life.

For example, I like playing dota with my group of friends on friday nights/weekends. But because i have to be with her/reply her messages, i find i have to sacrifice this. Now, you can say sacrificing dota shouldn't be a problem, i mean shouldn't spending time with your love be more rewarding than playing a computer game? Maybe its just me, but there's this unparalleled joy from winning a dota match together as a well coordinated team that i think girls can never understand. Just like how i can never really understand how girls like shopping.

This is just one aspect, the other aspect is you have to limit, or at least be wary of your current relationships with other people, especially girls. I'm sure all of you can relate to this. It is SO difficult to still be very close to your friends and meet frequently and have a girlfriend at the same time. Maybe i'm doing it wrong, maybe it's just me, but i find it's such a great sacrifice. It's like trading your friends for someone else, which i would hate to do.

Another aspect is that, open communication, which is vital to good relationships, might not work 100% of the time due to the simple fact that the truth hurts.

A trival example, yr girlfriend asks you if actress A (who has a perfect hot bod ) is hot. You tell the truth and say yes. Then she asks you if she's hot or A is hotter. Now here therein lies the problem. You would definitely think your own girlfriend is hot right, if not she won't be your girlfriend.

So how do you answer this question? Would you tell the truth and say "A is hotter, cos her body is nicer". I'm not saying this is a wrong answer, but chances are, your girlfriend would be hurt by this statement. So, maybe you're not a superficial kind of guy and you tell her, "although her body is nicer, i think you are hotter as a whole". And she will shoot you and say, "so you think my body is not nice la!". GG. Or lastly, you can lie, to her and yourself and say, "Your body is the hottest in the whole universe and no one will ever be hotter than you". Kudos to all of you whose girlfriend is Jessica Alba/Angelina Jolie.

A more serious example, perhaps this might only happen after many many years in a relationship. Suppose you meet this person, she/he is very friendly, cliques very well with you, you have this sort of strange attraction to this person that you can't quite explain or keep it out of your head. At least for now.

Now, this is very normal and common so you know it and can't deny it unless you're delusional. It is not love you are sure of it, it's just a dumb infatuation. Now, the problem lies with whether to tell your husband/wife. Logically, you think this infatuation is definitely not going to last long and you're not going to let it last long, so it's going to end with no consequences. So, why create additional pain to your partner in knowing that you were infatuated with someone else even if its a small infatuation and for a short while. Another way that the truth hurts.

The problem with open communication i feel, is not to be 100% honest and blatant about everything you feel and you do. It would be pretty disastrous. You must put in effort to maintain a 99.98% honesty rate. This is definitely not easy work because at times you really have to debate internally and ask yourself whether you would rather choose to tell the truth and hurt your love or tell a white lie and spare them the pain. Perhaps i'm wrong, do give your thoughts.

And of course, in relationships, guys have to man up and take responsibility for everything. What i mean is, guys cannot afford to feel insecure. We must be absolutely sure of ourselves at all times, and even if we are not we must hide it. Because, from what i heard, girls wont fall for insecure guys.

And also, guys must be responsible for the finances of the family. I'm not saying girls are not responsible or they don't need to work or they should concentrate on being a house wife. Im saying guys should always strive to be financially sustainable while it is optional for girls to provide for the family. Guys must be that rock or infallible pillar in a girl's life and i can tell you upfront how difficult that is. For girls its okay to feel insecure, its okay to feel unsure about oneself. But for guys, if u feel insecure, its bad, its like you're mentally weak, and if you yourself are insecure, how can you reassure your girl when she's feeling insecure herself? How can you be that rock for your girl. I guess this might be unique to me, as i've been truly struggling with my self-esteem.

All in all, i feel relationships are definitely not as simple as it seems. I guess i'm truly not ready for one, but as each day passes, i don't feel more ready than before. Maybe i'm missing something, maybe it's my character and personality and how i do things, maybe i'm better of single. What i know is, life is 98% pain and 2% true joy.

When you feel you don't belong anywhere

This is befuddling, bamboozling and bewildering.

I feel like duh shit rite nao, but its not the sad kind of feeling.

Basically its, befuddling, bamboozling and bewildering.

Oh, dont try to guess cos it has nothing to do with this blog's title.

Well, as 2lt jorim tan yi-zheng always says, life sux take drugs.

Haha just kidding.

I feel so so empty rite nao.

Happiness

I wonder... What holds the greatest importance in people's lives.

It is interesting how we being humans with the same reward systems, have different ideas on which kind of happiness is the best for us.

On the first level, we mainly find happiness in these three routes. Firstly, a successful career, I.e. Any sort of achievement in life. Secondly, relationships and thirdly, money. Money is not to be confused with a successful career. The pursuit of money can come without a career, I.e marrying a rich husband, making quick bucks on stocks. A successful career on the other hand has more to do with the prestige of yr job/achievement. Eg. The CEO of Goldman Sachs or a successful entrepreneur, although it usually also means you're rolling in money, but not always.

However, even in these 3 main routes, we also differ on the second level.

Some of us want to be captains of industry, others want their name to live on forever. Eg, Newton's law. In the first aspect of happiness, having a succesful career or notable achievement in life, we derive happiness from the fact we have achieved something great, outdoing one's own expectations, testing one's limits, breaking one's barriers. This form of happiness is not for everyone though, as some of us might think ourselves too ordinary to be achieve anything great. But actually, the more ordinary you are, the more people view your achievements as something great. Most great people in history had very humble beginnings, Einstein was considered a slow learner and many others.

The second form of happiness, relationships and be branched into 4 main categories. Relationships with friends, relationships with husband/wife, relationships with family and lastly relationships with God. Which is most important to you?. Which relationship would you most likely sacrifice if you didn't have time?. I think all our choices are personal and reasons vary from individual to individual but which relationship holds the greatest importance to you?. Is it your friends who have known you for so long and been there for you for as long as you can remember? Or is it your husband/wife who promises to love you till death do you part. Or your family? Who have taken care of you all your life. Or is it God, the enigmatic being, who promises you a wondrous life on earth and a even more wondrous afterlife. Whichever kind of relationship you choose, remember you have to sacrifice another. And don't be fooled that you can have all of them as you have limited time and you are bound to choose between them.

The third form of happiness, the pursuit of $ is something which i personally feel is the most unfulfilling of them all. But strangely enough, some people still choose this as their most important kind of happiness to them and are willing to sacrifice all others. The value of $ is undeniable and a certain amount is definitely prerequisite to the other kinds of happiness mentioned above, but exactly how much money is enough? I think again, this varies between individuals, but we can all agree, the more time you spend on getting more $, the less time you have to pursue the other kinds of happiness mentioned above which lasts much longer and makes you feel more whole. So how much is really enough?

Dont misunderstand as i'm not saying you can only have one kind of happiness. It is possible to pursue all the kinds of happiness i have mentioned above, but then, your life span is limited and time is of importance. You are bound to choose between all these different forms and so one of them would have to be of greatest importance to you. Choose wisely and do not regret only after you've lived most of your life pursing the wrong kind of happiness.

Who knew it would be so Damn hard...

This blog is WAY too old.